Confident
I don’t suffer from a lack of confidence. Au contraire, I tend to think I can do pretty much anything. Somebody told me once I could do anything I wanted to do. And I was just dumb enough to believe them. And when it comes to the chicks in my nest, I have that confidence times 10.
My child trapped under a car? I’m sure I can lift it. A bear is charging toward the baby? I’ll tackle it. The house is on fire? I’ll carry all four out if I have to.
I AM MAMA HEAR ME ROAR.
Meanwhile, I nearly killed myself last week trying to jump a baby gate because I heard my sick son calling for me. Went running through the kitchen and hurdled over like those amazing athletes in the Olympics.
Except I am not amazing. I crashed like any uncoordinated, over confident peson would when trying to clear a baby gate with zero athletic ability.
It hurt ya’ll. And I thought I was going to have to hurt Nathan for laughing like a hyena at me for the next 2 hours.
Sometimes what I imagine I am able to do doesn’t match up with reality. But wow do I WANT to be all powerful. Able to do whatever is necessary to save and rescue.
But where does that leave God? And who would be the hero if I could do all the saving?
About a year ago I was sitting in a room in our church with a dozen other women doing a ladies Bible study. Confession: I was only halfway paying attention. I was distracted by all that was going on with The New Chick’s case, and the fear that he might leave was wrecking havoc on my spirit.
As Ms. Jan taught and other women piped in with insight on the study, my mind floated between worry and prayer. I remember feeling helpless, knowing there was little I could do to secure his fate. No measure of pushing or trying or talking to the right people or doing the right thing was going to get me the results I wanted. I couldn’t save him.
Suddenly God cut into my thoughts with a picture: Moses and the Israelites running for their lives. The Egyptian army breathing down their necks, and the Red Sea a blockade before them.
In a way that only the Almighty can communicate, He let me in on something profound. There was absolutely nothing Moses could have done in that situation to save his people. He was powerless to save the people God had sent him to save. It was God in a great act of HIS power that parted the waters. And who was the hero of the story? Not Moses and his brilliant plan or his ability to find a way. God was. As He should be.
Some days I still struggle when I consider The New Chick’s case and what we have before us. I sense something awful on my heels and no amount of my own power will get us all out of this situation and over into my own version of The Promised Land.
That day God gave met the Moses Picture, he was saying “The results of this case will be attributed to no other. No lawyer’s smarts. No judge’s justice. And certainly not your own doing. I will not share My glory with another.”
Jesus, teach us to remember you as the hero of the story. We are far too used to leveraging our own power. No doubt you lead us to impossible situations in order to remind us that you are the One who makes all things possible. What a prideful bunch we are. You must increase. We must decrease.
I pray today that you remember waters will be parted, but it will be His doing and not your own. Pray that I remember the same.
PS – 55 minutes
I’m new to this blog and would like to read the background story of your family ,Beth.
Hi Emily! Thanks for your interest in our family’s story. The easiest way to do that is through the archives. The story starts in April of 2014. Here is the first one chronicling our journey to foster/adopt: http://knowandfollow.com/answering-the-adoption-question-part-one/