Loving Jase

September 5, 2014

Lord, I love this baby. I love the way he smiles from the inside out. I love his peach fuzz head, his squishy cheeks and chunky thighs. The way he is so ticklish that even changing his clothes produces hysterical laughter.

I love how he looks like a cocoon of perfection when he is swaddled snug and sleeping in heavenly peace. And I love the way he grins with two fingers stuck in his mouth, a line of drool dripping halfway to the floor. 

I love how he has found his feet and thinks they are hilarious, the unbelievable softness of his skin, and his little arm hooked around my neck. 

I love that he loves my singing voice even though it is hideous. 

I love every square inch of this new chick with a fierceness I couldn’t have predicted. But there is a good chance we will be separated soon, and he’ll never know about me. Or my deep, deep love for him.

And I hate the thought of him not knowing how I feel about him. 

What if he never knows that he brings me unbelievable joy. Or the way I would move heaven and earth to have him. What if he never knows that my every thought is for him, and that I shake with sobs of grief over the thought of losing him? 

What if he never knows that I gave up my old life to have him? And that I would do it again. 

What if  he never knows that if were up to me, he would never go a day without knowing I love him. And given the chance I would whisper it in his ear over and over and over again. For the rest of his life. 

Jesus, I asked you weeks ago to open my eyes to better understand your love. Today you responded with this:

“Look at your love for him. You’ll see a glimpse of my love for you.”

My love could be a life-changer for Jase. Your love is the life-changer for the entire human race. Through that little baby, you’re making your love more real to me. Help me give that gift to others.